


Broken promises

by shutupeccles



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, First Time, Friendship/Love, Pre Season 3, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-12
Updated: 2010-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-04 10:00:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/392582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupeccles/pseuds/shutupeccles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana soothes Arthur's broken heart in a way neither of them expected</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken promises

Morgana had crossed the line.

She had finally said the words caught inside these many years.

Her timing could not have been more perfect, not that she was aware of this. Seeing the one she loved so torn, broken and weeping prompted her to risk her own pride to bolster his.

 “I love you Arthur. I always have, only you. There can be no other.”

 He sat folded on the steps, elbows jabbed into knees, head in hands, heart crumbled and looked up at her with understanding in his reddened eyes. There was also love, but not the love Morgana felt for him. She did not know he harboured that love for another: one he had discovered whispering intimately and holding hands with another man. She could not know this was why he crumpled here.

 At this moment Morgana did not care that he did not return her affection. She had not made her declaration of love for reciprocation but to let him know he was cherished. Her slender hand rested on the back of his sun-burnished hair to provide comfort, not to claim possession.

 Arthur reached for her free hand, brought it to his lips to bestow a gentle kiss of empathy and gratitude. He retained her fingers in his.

 “You have always been here,” he said, blue eyes engaging her green. “When we disagree you still return, no matter how harshly I may have spoken to you or rashly I’ve behaved. You do not hold back your words of warning, praise or insult. You offer truth without prompting or fear. How can you love me when-“

 Morgana saw this thought caused him pain and placed a soothing palm against his cheek. He pressed her fingers to his lips again.

“Who cannot love a man who aims to better himself, who places the welfare of others many consider negligible above his own? Who cannot love a man who seeks justice, equity and truth? Only a fool would not favour you Arthur.”

She felt his tear between their skin, unaware he thought _there is one and she is no fool_ as Morgana’s thumb wiped it away.

“Come,” she said gently, easing him from the stone stair. “Tell me what brought the hero low.”

As they walked he told her all without mentioning his antagonists by name. It would have been painful enough to say had he not needed to maintain some shred of pride. Morgana did not remind him to release her hand. The contact was mutually soothing and they were both reluctant to let go.

“Poor beloved,” she whispered without thinking.

The word caused something to unfold between them. His suffering had only begun, but hers was half a decade old.

“I never meant to hurt you.” Arthur briefly increased the pressure on her fingers.

“Obviously, I would not respect you otherwise,” she raised their joined hands to her lips with the smallest of reassuring smiles devoid of merriment.

He did not pull back as Morgana leaned forward onto her toes to kiss his lips the same way. Arthur released her hand and Morgana worried that she had gone too far until his hand found her waist and he bent to reciprocate. There was nothing forceful or overly passionate in the exchange, but neither was it shallow or chaste. Arthur needed to receive love and Morgana needed to bestow it. The depth and duration of their kiss was balanced accordingly.

She opened her chamber door, not completely, enough to communicate an invitation to continue in private without being blatant or coy. He thought for a moment with his hand still resting on her waist, raised his other hand to her cheek, brushed his lips against hers again, questioned green eyes with blue and accepted her invitation with a silent, single step.

Morgana closed the door with fluttering breath, roiling stomach and stuttering heart. What was she doing? What were _they_ doing? She convinced herself there was nothing to fear, no boundaries would be crossed. Arthur would not submit to seduction, even if it was what she craved with no idea how to actually go about it. His broad hand came to rest on the metal ring next to her slimmer, softer one.

“Perhaps I should leave,” he suggested gently, so polite while trying to control similar turmoil.

Her lips found his as she turned and this kiss was not subtle or soft as it declared: don’t even consider leaving.  
  
Arthur helped turn her body toward his, enfolding her in his arms as she placed her hands around the back of his neck, holding his face close to hers as hungry desire took over.  
  
She half-led him to her bed and that's where he stopped: wild-eyed, apologetic and extremely aroused.  
  
"You deserve better," he swayed back to take a retreating step but Morgana pulled his arms so his momentum brought him on top of her as they fell.  
  
"There is no man better than you," she whispered, wrapping an arm around his back to hold the nape of his neck while her fingers stroked his throat to be closely followed by her lips.  
  
Arthur inhaled shakily and ran his fingers through her wonderfuly long hair, causing her to sigh against his adam's apple. She felt his reaction press into her thigh and she shifted so the shape of him fit snugly in the groove where her leg joined-  
  
"Heavens," Arthur gasped. Her surprised giggle was smothered by his weight so her tremors caused him to expand against her. One sword-worn hand moved immediately to her hip, lifting her to him as he pressed his hips down and she saw his eyes close with pleasure.  
  
"Yes Arthur," she sighed, moving one hand to explore the shape of his clothed backside with greater appetite than her admiring eyes ever dared; tilting herself up and pressing him down. Morgana used her free hand to lift her skirts at one side and as their hands touched he pulled back with a shocked intake of breath. "No," she murmured, "don't stop. Please."  
  
It was not his intention to stop but to assist; his fingers brushed her skin from knee to hip as layers of fabric were drawn up. His eyes followed their hands in disbelief: "So fair," he murmured. Arthur must have felt her watching him because he looked into her green eyes and murmured "so beautiful" before returning his gaze to his hands on her thighs as if verifying the wondrous feel of her with visual evidence.  
  
Morgana could not control the shivers of pleasure caused by his touch and she rushed to remove her undergarment unaided so he would not discover the full effect of his actions. Arthur took the opportunity to attend to his own clothing with shaking fingers. Morgana was unsure whether to offer assistance, this was not the time to make Arthur feel dependent. Wanting to encourage (and embarrassed to be waiting whilst so exposed) she sat to move her hands beneath his shirt, brushing lips against whatever skin she could reach as she raised it. He lifted his arms as his lower garments found the floor and she knelt to remove the shirt completely. His mouth covered Morgana's as he placed a knee between hers and eased her back onto the bed. She could feel the smoothest part of him nudge her and wanted to touch it yet fought against the urge as she lay on her back and slid her fallen skirts up again. Unable to withstand, Morgana reached between them with one hand and he bounced against her palm. Instinctively she curled her fingers around him and was astounded by how rigid, silky, ridged and hot he felt that she groaned with him.  
  
"Morgana, no, I won't make it."  
  
She released him and moved both hands to his back as he lifted her hips. He fought to balance her against him as he lined up for entry and she felt a warm finger blaze the trail to be sure he arrived at the correct destination. Finding her slick he shuddered against her as he throbbed in anticipation. The subtle finger pressure was replaced by a broad, burning push and she made a sharp noise of pain as her virginity tore. They tensed and paused as one.  
  
"Oh God!" he exclaimed with combined concern for hurting her and pleasure at how she felt around him.  
  
Morgana gripped his back and tried to shift to make herself more comfortable and felt her internal muscles clamp around him.  
  
"Morgana, look at me and try to relax. It won't be so bad..."  
  
She remembered the different experiences of her two married friends and breathed deeply, slowly; focussing on Arthur's wonderful blue eyes, on the memory of his lips on hers, his fingers on her thighs. As her body relaxed, he slipped in a little more without causing pain. Morgana nodded minutely and he pulled slowly back - which hurt more than the initial going in- and then moved forward again.  _Oh God,_ she felt him, he touched nerves inside her she didn't know existed and still there was more. She gasped as he went deeper with each forward movement. Arthur's pull-backs became shallower to match his breathing. Morgana moved her hands to his shoulder and neck, holding him close while rocking her hips up to meet him. Her voice was high as she "ah...ah...ah"ed in his ear. He slid faster and deeper until he was as far as he could go and then he just pushed faster and harder. Arthur's small grunts were in perfect time with Morgana's softer noises as he pushed air out of her.  
  
She didn't expect his end to come as it did: his back arched, his hands clutched her hips high and hard against him as he cried words she'd never heard him use in the presence of a woman. After hearing the knights use them, Morgana could still only guess at their meaning and believed she had done something wrong until he finished with "Yes, yes, oh god yes", forced himself into her at a different angle to make her "o" sharply and swivelled his hips.  
  
Morgana cried out "Oh Arthur!" as muscles never used before shuddered  around him in spasms that made her toes curl. They twisted mindlessly together until Arthur was spent and Morgana breathless.  
  
"I-" Arthur panted and Morgana hushed him with a finger pressed gently to his lips then brushed across them. He kissed her finger and their eyes met. She watched his blue eyes shift to her hair, flushed face, neck, cleavage, mangled and probably spoiled skirts. His eyes closed when he reached where their bodies met, cheeks rouged with more than exertion. When they opened directly into Morgana's, she saw shame and guilt at their intimacy. He tried to pull away but stopped when he saw it hurt her.  
  
"No, Arthur don't-"  
  
"Morgana--I'm sorry. Nothing I do now can make this right," he covered her as modestly as possible and eased away from her and the bed to find his clothes.  
  
"Don't humiliate me like this," she half wept, half accused.  
  
Once his nakedness was covered he leaned over to kiss and help her into a seated position.  
  
"You have no reason to feel ashamed," he placed a hand beneath her chin and lifted so she could not avoid facing him, "Morgana I-"  
  
He was interrupted by a loud knocking on her door and they turned fearfully to look as if the devil himself had come for them.  
  
"Lady Morgana-"  
  
Merlin's voice shocked Arthur back into action and he hurriedly put on his shirt. Morgana had never seen him so panic-stricken and unco-ordinated. She stood and slapped his useless hands away to fasten his clothing herself. Concentrating on the task steadied her own agitation.  
  
"Wait please Merlin," she called. Years of false calm in front of Uther was all that kept her voice level.  
  
Arthur looked up, astonished by her apparent poise until he saw the tremble of her lip and felt her fingers fumble against his chest. He touched her hand and caressed her mouth with his in an attempt to comfort her. His expression was so uncharacteristically pathetic she wanted to hold him and shield him from all the wrongs of the world.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered again. Morgana nodded brusquely and gestured for him to sit at her table as she opened her door to a flustered Merlin.  
  
"Forgive the intrusion my Lady, have you seen-? There you are! Gwen's been looking everywhere for you. Well almost everywhere. She obviously didn't look here because the door was locked. I mean, why would you be  _here_ anyway," Merlin's quick eyes glanced about "alone, with the door locked." He scowled threateningly. Morgana could only look at her toes as the servant who held her other secret raised his voice. "How could you Arthur? Gwen's been in tears trying to find you to explain - she doesn't want Lancelot! She was only there telling him she'd rather be alone waiting for even the impossibility of you than spend a minute with anyone else and - all the while - **YOU**!"  
  
" _Gwen?_ "   
  
Merlin did not hear Morgana's wounded surprise or see her look to Arthur, who was solidly ignoring both of their gazes.  
  
"Give me one reason why I shouldn't hit you Arthur!" Merlin challenged, burning with disappointment and righteous wrath.  
  
"Because I would hit you back." There was no hint of turmoil in Arthur's deliberately arrogant retort but Morgana could see it in the way he rose from her chair.  
  
"Gwen is the woman you were telling me about?" Morgana hid her heartache by trying to maintain their dignity in front of Merlin. "The reason you were weeping on the stairs? The only woman your heart has truly belonged to?" Her throat constricted on the last question.  
  
"Yes," Arthur answered softly, directly into her eyes.  
  
"What are you waiting for? You should go to her," her voice was just as soft and her eyes did not waver as she opened her door wide.  
  
His gaze asked what he dared not voice with an audience: are you sure?  
  
"If you have any chance to be with the one you love you should take it."  
  
He kissed her cheek, his eyes communicating gratitude, sympathy, concern and guilt at his own conflicted happiness.  
  
"Thank you Morgana, for  - listening - and for understanding. For everything," and then he was gone.  
  
"I'm sorry my Lady for - I should have known nothing like that - you're-"  
  
"I'm what Merlin?" Morgana was emotionally exhausted and replied with a wasp sting.  
  
"Remarkable." There was an unexpected tenderness in his voice that caused her to look up. "I know how hard it must be for you having so many secrets. It would be easier for almost everyone if he could return your affections." Merlin looked to the far window with a grimace. "Love doesn't recognise things like status or..." his voice drifted after his gaze.  
  
"No, it doesn't."  
  
His attention returned with a poor imitation of his usual open grin .  
  
"Best be off. Is there anything you need my Lady?"  
  
"Time alone with my thoughts perhaps."  
  
"If you think of anything..."  
  
"Thank you Merlin," her smile was small and sad but completely genuine.  
  
His responding smile was more genuine than his first but just as sad as he turned away. Morgana had many confusing thoughts to sort through, and Merlin had just added to them.  



End file.
